- I am not. - You are so.
How can I be late when I was to meet you
- after the prom committee meeting? - Yeah.
- The meeting was cancelled. - Yeah.
- How was I supposed to know that? - Yeah.
- The bulletin board. - Yeah, the bulletin board.
Trudy, do you mind? This is a private fight.
- Yeah. - Listen,
she was nominated for prom queen. You can't talk to her like that.
- Yeah. - Well, why don't you go for a walk?
- You're bothering my best friend. - Yeah.
- Well, you're bothering my best friend. - Yeah.
- My friend's more important. - Potsie.
You're right, Rich. You're right. These two want a little privacy,
so why don't you find something else to do, huh?
- Yeah. He's right. Come on. - Come on.
All right. All right.
- There you go, Rich. - There you go, Arlene.
- Okay, I'm going. - Okay, I'm going too.
You see, Arlene, we've only been going together for two weeks.
It's not like we're married.
Richie, one week is a crush. Two weeks is a commitment.
It's not my fault.
I don't read the bulletin board every day.
If you loved me, you would.
I don't have to read the board for anybody.
I may never read another bulletin board.
Oh, so you wanna break up, is that it?
One minute we're talking about bulletin boards,
the next we're talking about breaking up?
So you do wanna break up?
- Maybe I do. - Well, maybe I do too.
I guess you'll want your ring back.
I guess so, as long as we're breaking up.
What about the ID bracelet I gave you?
Oh, it's at home. I was soaking it, trying to get all the tarnish off.
Well, I didn't even know it was tarnished.
Bye, Richie.
It was a nice two weeks.
I think this is your tape.
It won't hurt you to wear a tuxedo for one night.
Besides, you look so handsome when you're all dressed up.
I don't like tuxedos.
A lot of distinguished men wear tuxedos.
President Eisenhower, Bert Parks, Bennett Cerf...
Charlie McCarthy.
Marion, why do you always get us hooked into these things?
Chaperoning Richie's prom is an honour.
Mr. Faraday, the principal, asked us personally.
Yeah, that's because all the people whose names begin with A and B
were smart enough to say that they were busy that night.
Listen, if you're interested, I can give you a map
of all the make-out places at school.
Where on earth would you get something like that?
From Punky MacDonald.
He's got maps of every make-out place in town.
Well, he's only 11 years old. Where would he get anything like that?
By following his sister, "Hot Lips" MacDonald.
A map, huh?
You better be on your toes, Richard.
Richie's not going. He broke up with Arlene.
Oh, you can't miss your junior prom, your first one.
I know. I hope the second one's better.
Well, it seems to me, if you really wanna go to the prom,
there's only one thing to do, and that's to take Arlene.
How can I take Arlene when we just broke up?
Richard, there is one thing that women like men to do.
It's what they call a romantic gesture.
- We men call it "eating crow." - Howard.
- Dracula. - I beg your pardon, Joanie.
Even Dracula wears a tuxedo.
I don't know, Kincaid.
What happened to that air scoop I just put in?
Somebody stole it.
I keep telling you, as long as you got this stock engine,
you ain't gonna catch any souped-up jobs.
Hey, relax. You'll chase him later.
I got a great idea.
Why don't you go get yourself a cup of coffee?
I'll see what I can do.
Hey, Fonzie, can I talk to you for a minute?
- Sure. What about, Arlene? - Yeah, how did you know?
Hey, you been moping around here for two days.
I didn't figure it's because you lost your skate key.
I was thinking about trying to get back together with her for the prom.
- Now, my dad says that... - Forget it.
- I didn't even tell you what he said yet. - Hey, does it matter?
If fathers knew anything about chicks, they'd be single and still operating.
- What would you do if you were me? - Brando.
- Brando? - Yeah.
Like in Streetcar Named Desire.
His wife walks out on him, he stands under the window:
"Stella!"
- Thanks, Fonzie. - Sure.
Oh, hey, it ain't ready yet.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Any new songs? - Yeah, this one by Pat Boone.
Oh, good, good. We needed another slow one.
Richie, is something the matter?
No, no, I'm fine.
Well, you looked like Marlon Brando, without sound.
I did?
Richie, do you wanna talk to me about something?
Arlene,
I understand that you don't have a date to the prom.
No, but I'm going anyway, alone.
- You got a date yet? - No.
See, everybody's all dated-up.
But I was thinking that I might drop by anyway.
Maybe I'll see you there.
Maybe I could give you a lift. It's not at all out of my way.
I guess so. All right.
I mean, it's not like it was a date or anything.
Oh, no, no, no. I'll just be giving you a lift.
Okay.
All right, then, well...
- I guess I'll pick you up around 8. - Fine.
Okay.
See you.
- Joanie, are you still in there? - Yes.
Well, come on. My collar stays are in there.
What's a collar stay?
Dad, my collar stays are in the bathroom.
- Joanie won't let me in to get them. - I just took a bath, and I'm drying off.
- You see, Dad? - I hate cummerbunds,
and I hate tuxedos, and now I know why Dracula was so irritable.
Joanie, hand out Richie's collar stays, please.
- What's a collar stay? - I'll get them.
Joanie, unlock the door so I can get in.
Thanks, Marion.
- Would you lend me a hand, Rich? - Oh, sure, Dad.
- Did the corsages get here yet? - Not yet.
I thought you weren't going as dates.
We're not. I thought I'd give her the corsage anyway.
Oh, well, that's nice.
- Here they are. - Oh, thanks, Mom.
No, let me help you.
I'll get it.
Maybe it's somebody who knows
whether the pleats of a cummerbund go up or down.
- That's good, Mom. I can... - I want to. Let me help you.
Oh, good evening, Mrs. McCarthy.
I thought Mrs. Gavin was going to sit for us tonight.
Oh, well, she had a gallbladder attack. I'm filling in for her.
- Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. - So was she.
Now, be sure you take your key
because I'm not opening that door for anyone.
Yes, I remember, Mrs. McCarthy.
Well, you just make yourself at home, and excuse me while I finish dressing.
Now, let me see. I've got all the emergency numbers.
Police,
fire, hospital.
You got Mrs. McCarthy to babysit? Yuck.
She's a nice lady.
She's always pinching my cheeks. I get a bruised face.
- Maybe that's the florist. - Who is it?
All right. Oh, don't you all look lovely.
Just something we knock around in.
Where's my Joanie?
- Good night, Mrs. McCarthy. - Wait a minute.
We have to take pictures.
Pictures? Marion, we're late already.
Oh, please, Howard. This is a big event.
Stand next to Richard by the fireplace.
Come on. Everything to you is such a big event.
We got a whole page in the family album
dedicated to Richard's first bowl of oatmeal.
Everyone's not in the picture.
Flash.
Now, I'm gonna see spots all night long.
Mom, we really have to get going.
Look, here, start the car. We'll be right out.
- Let me help you with that... - There it goes.
Oh, no, don't touch that, Howard. That's hot.
Welcome to Jefferson High's Teen Angel Prom.
For your dancing pleasure, music by Billy Comstock and the Chords.
All nominees for prom queen should check in with Miss Folson
under the chinning bar before 9:15.
Oh, Howard, that was sweet of you
to let Richard take the car to pick up Arlene.
Is something wrong with the punch?
They always try and spike it, Marion.
You have to stay one jump ahead of them.
- Well, is it spiked? - No.
But even if it was, there wouldn't be a problem.
This punch is awful, Marion.
- Hi. - Howard, put on your halo.
Marion, I'm not gonna put on a halo
and walk around looking like the Good Fairy.
Well, here we are.
Yeah, we're here all right, the prom.
Oh, there's Richard.
- Oh, boy, I'm having fun already. - Me too.
- Well, hi, kids. - Hi, Dad, Mom.
- Oh, you look so nice tonight, Arlene. - Thank you, Mrs. Cunningham.
Doesn't she look pretty, Richard?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, she does.
Aren't you two gonna dance?
Well, maybe after I get some punch.
I think I'll have some punch too.
You think they're gonna have any fun tonight, Howard?
Well, not unless the punch gets spiked, Marion.
Hey, Rich. Hey, Arlene.
Why are you looking at us that way?
True love wins out, huh?
Arlene.
Potsie, we're not here as dates. We're here as friends.
- I just gave her a lift, all right? - Gotcha.
Hey, Arlene, since you don't have a date, wanna dance?
All right.
Watch the punch bowl, huh, Rich?
Hey, there's Doris. I'm gonna go over and see her.
Hey, I'll tell you when you can go.
You can go.
All right, Fonz. You came to the prom.
Hey, don't rub it in.
Hey, Fonz, boy... Say, boy, you really... Boy...
What time you due back on the wedding cake?
You don't like my threads?
No, I didn't say that, Fonz. Did I say that?
- No, I think they're cool. - Hey.
- Super cool, Fonz. - I know.
Right. Well...
We're gonna go over and get some punch.
Would you like some, Fonzie?
When you're over there,
why don't you bring me a side order of lollipops too, huh?
- What's that, dear? - Joanie's make-out map.
That "Hot Lips" MacDonald sure gets around.
Everything's checked here but the football field.
Oh, yes, dear. There's a little star in the end zone.
That's strange. There's no seats in the end zone.
Howard, where is that girl going?
Let's see. We're standing right there, huh?
So this must be the broom closet.
Cheers, Potsie.
Thanks for the dance.
You haven't touched your punch in the last seven dances.
Thanks. All that dancing made me thirsty.
I wouldn't know. I haven't danced yet.
Hi, Rich. Hey, Arlene, Potsie said that you came here stag.
- How about a dance? - All right.
You look just beautiful tonight.
Have some punch.
Is it spiked yet?
Not yet.
Oh, Howard, why don't you ask Mrs. Frawley to dance?
Oh, Marion, chaperones aren't supposed to dance.
Go on, Howard. It'll make her happy. She hasn't danced all night.
She's 72 years old. She probably hasn't danced since V-J Day.
All right, I'll go.
Hey, Mrs. C.
Oh, hello, Fonzie.
I see Mr. C. Is dancing with Grandma Frawley, huh?
Where's your date?
Oh, she's in the...
Oh, I know what you mean.
Hey, since we're just standing here, you wanna do something?
What did you have in mind?
Dance.
- Well, I would love to. - Yeah.
- That's the dip. - I know. That's nice.
Hello, Howard.
Oh, Mrs. Frawley, you look like a young girl dancing like that.
She's asleep, Marion.
What? What? What?
Would you like to dance? Let's dance.
We're gonna dance.
Thanks, Bill. I've never danced so much in my whole life.
You know, you danced with everybody in the place except the janitor and me.
The janitor was busy sweeping, and you haven't asked me.
- I don't like standing in line. - You act like you're jealous.
Why should I be jealous? I'm not.
You shouldn't. You're the one who broke up.
You're the one who broke up, remember?
You took your ring back.
- What about your ID bracelet? - It's still soaking.
I was gonna give it back as soon as I get all the tarnish off.
I think I'm gonna go ask the janitor to dance.
Well, good, good. I'm sure the janitor will love to dance with...
Arlene!
Okay, everybody, let's settle down here. A little quiet, please.
It's time to announce Miss Teen Angel.
The winner and her escort will rule over teen heaven
for the rest of the entire prom.
But before I bring up Miss Teen Angel,
the principal asked me to tell you something. You're all expelled.
Yeah, well, moving right along,
I'd like to introduce Miss Teen Angel's heavenly attendants.
The second runner-up, second runner-up,
is Miss Carol Reasko.
Yeah, Carol.
Very nice, very nice.
Now I'll bring on Teen Angel's first runner-up.
And she is Arlene Holder.
I wonder where she is.
I've heard of sore losers, but this is ridiculous.
And now, without much further ado, the event you've all been waiting for.
The crowning of Miss Teen Angel. A drum roll, please.
This year's Miss Teen Angel is...
Sandy Hauser.
- Hey. - I'm Miss Teen Angel.
I'm not happy about this, Sandy.
I crown thee Miss Teen Angel.
Now for her escort.
Hey, Ralph, I wouldn't do that if I were you, if you know what I mean.
I know what you mean, Fonz.
Okay, everybody. Now, the heavenly royalty
will get in their cloud and circle teen heaven.
Everybody got their angel dust?
Mr. Escort, let's get inside, and Miss Teen Angel.
Isn't this fun? Isn't this great?
First she drags me here, now she's Teen Angel. I can't win.
He's always kidding. Toss that dust. Get that cloud around here.
Toss it. Come on, everybody.
Let's hear it for them.
Okay, throw that dust over there. Keep it going, keep it going.
I wonder where Richie and Arlene are.
Now, look, you just keep throwing your angel dust
and pretend to be Tinker Bell. I'll see if I can find them.
That's enough. You gotta dance. You gotta dance.
Come on. Step right off.
And now Miss Teen Angel and her runner-up
will share a solo dance with their escorts.
- Dad. - Well, congratulations.
I see you two are going steady again.
Oh, by the way, Arlene, double congratulations.
You just won Miss Runner-Up.
I think they expect you two kids to dance.
Okay.
- Dad... - Don't worry, Richard.
I'll hold the room for you. After all, I'm a chaperone.
That's why I didn't wear my halo.
Oh, I'm sorry, but this spot is taken.
Look, why don't you...?
Try the home-ec room. It's got four stars.
I'm gonna take this home for Joanie.
Well, what's the matter, Howard?
It's spiked. I wonder when they did that.
Well, anyway, it tastes better.
I think the prom was a great success.
They would've made more money
if they'd charged admission to the broom closet.
You know, Howard, you haven't asked me to dance once tonight.
Marion, we're chaperones.
Chaperones aren't supposed to dance when they're on duty.
You're not on duty now.
May I have this dance, Mrs. Cunningham?
My pleasure, Mr. Cunningham.
Do you remember our prom?
You took me for a walk, and you chased me around the oak tree.
There's an oak tree outside.
You wanna chase me around a while?
Oh, now, Marion, I'm too old to run around oak trees.
- Hey, how about the broom closet? - The oak tree.
Let's see, where is that oak tree?